Hindsight 2020

Look I gotta be honest, a huge part of me just wants to say “F*ck 2020” and move on. However, I am still a big believer in finding life’s lessons where ever they may be and however big or small they may be and using them to learn and grow. So bear with me while I reflect on what has been in many ways a…….shall we say unique (?) year.

First off, I can’t go on without mentioning that it as been devastating to see all the unnecessary pain and death this year has brought to so many. On top of all of lines challenges, COVID has really changed all of our lives to one degree or another and my heart is truly with all of those that have been personally affected by it. And while we are by no means out of the woods with this virus, I still think it a good idea to take this moment to reflect.

I have missed so many things this year professionally and personally, but broadly speaking, I miss playing music with my friends. Often the most fulfilling parts of my days were spent in the company of my friends and colleagues in the music profession. I have enjoyed every second of the hustle and grind of forging some semblance of a career since moving to New York City almost 7 years ago, and at the start of it 2020 appeared to be another incredible year for personal and professional growth. However, each one of us watched as our gig calendars quickly evaporated down to next to nothing. It was heartbreaking. I missed New York. I’m still here and New York is always New York, but I mean that in the sense of the day to day nature in which we all experience it. It’s a love-hate relationship if there ever was one. But seemingly overnight, it all went away. Everyone put their vacations on hold, and……well there’s no sense in reliving all of it. Literally everyone in the world was there.

Despite the overall awfulness of 2020, I can’t quite remember when I’ve felt as much optimism and inspiration as an artist. Suddenly I had all the time I had been missing out on to work on my craft. I was able to be as patient as I wanted to be in the practice room. Going through exercises slowly and repeatedly to, as the saying goes, play it until I can’t play it wrong. I truly valued all of this time of reconnection with my trumpet and my craft. Additionally, I had the time to really immerse myself in content put out by my friends and colleagues. Watching countless masterclasses, performances on YouTube, interviews, checking out music my friends had released. In a year with very few performances to stay sharp for, it really helped keep the motivational fire lit. It was also incredibly inspiring to see artists reinvent ways to get their voice out to the world, whether it be for means of self-expression, appreciation for frontline health and emergency workers, or for movements of resistance and socio-political change. It was answering the call of Toni Morrison’s words “This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.”

I have been able to cook more! Oh man! Ever since ending my 5 year stint working on cruise ships, I realized how much I had missed cooking. This year has given me the opportunity to devote many hours, many eggs, much flour (as well as many failed endeavors) to cultivate my skills at this hobby of mine, and I’d like to think I really grew as to hopefully slightly-above-average home chef.

This is all a bit stream-of-conciousness, but I suppose it’s all to say that there have still been many good things I have taken from this year, and I just wish to express my appreciation for them. I love my girlfriend Lindsay, our pup, music, my friends, my health, New York, and so many more things, and I hope in 2021 to be able to make time to nurture every one off those things even further. Love to you all, and cheers to the new year!